Important Points
- In Australia, men are three times more likely to die by suicide than women.
- Mental health advocate Glenn Cotter says many men still feel stigmatized when they start talking about mental health.
- Some men are also unaware of their symptoms and find it difficult to get professional help.
This article is about suicide.
Glenn Cotter has spent years working in suicide prevention and mental health advocacy and travels the country teaching men about the importance of speaking up if they are struggling.
But when he had problems, he hesitated to speak and tried to keep his affairs to himself.
“I was ashamed that I could stand up and tell other people how to take care of themselves and I couldn’t do it myself,” she said.
Cotter said that while mental health awareness is improving overall, many men – especially in rural areas – struggle to talk about it or get support.
Cotter finally confided in a friend, who kept calling to catch up with him and ask how he was doing.
He credits these conversations with changing his life.
“The saying that a conversation can change a life – for me, it was incredibly true,” he said.
Turning loss into awareness
Robert Harris was an avid musician, a devoted father, an avid printer, and a well-known member of his community.
Two years ago, he committed suicide.
Her son Jay Harris described the loss as “devastating”, and said it had a profound effect on their entire family.
In response, their team came together to turn their loss into action and created a live music event for Bob.
The event celebrates Robert’s life while raising awareness of the importance of talking about mental health and raising money for suicide prevention charity RU OK?.
Harris says he believes men from older generations find it more difficult to talk about mental health.
“My father would not tell the seriousness of his condition and he always said, ‘I will be fine my partner, I am just recovering’. [and] he often avoided things like going to the doctor,” he said.
“I think, through conversation and awareness, this stigma is slowly breaking down as the generations go by.”
Jay Harris organized the Bob’s Song festival after his father, Bob, died by suicide. Source: It is given / Jay Harris
Harris, who has also struggled with mental health, said he hoped the incident would encourage other men to reach out and ask for help when they need it.
“This is a conversation I’ve had with many of my friends and I continue to have,” he said.
“I was ashamed of being depressed and thought there was something wrong with me, but over the years, I’ve learned that it’s not really weak to talk.”
My father refused to explain the seriousness of his condition.
Jay Harris
It is possible for men to die by suicide
According to data from the Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS), there are an average of nine people who die by suicide every day in Australia.
Men are three times more likely to die by suicide than women, according to the ABS.
In 2022, 2,455 men died by suicide in Australia; an increase of 2.6% from 2021.
For men aged between 15 and 49, suicide and self-harm were the leading causes of illness and death.
Simon Rice, director of the Movember Institute of Men’s Health, told SBS News that there are several factors affecting men’s mental health and suicide rates.
Rice says barriers to treatment include awareness of symptoms, difficulty accessing professional help, and their own sense of masculinity and masculinity.
“The need to be in control, the need to be stoic, the need to be seen as calm… are important needs for some men,” he said.
“We need to make sure that men feel that even though they may have those inner needs, people still want to support them, and services are there to support them to improve.”
Rice says that while awareness is growing about mental health, some men still struggle to talk about their struggles.
“I think sometimes men fall into the trap of thinking and feeling like they have to go it alone – sometimes that’s okay, and their symptoms can resolve naturally, but not always,” he said so.
“Reaching out to people in your network; loved ones, family, a close colleague at work, or services…trying to reach out and get someone’s opinion about it can be an important step very much.”
‘The hardest thing I’ve ever done’
Steve Le Marquand has been on the other side of this conversation many times throughout his life.
Le Marquand, who works as an actor, told SBS News that he and many of his friends struggled with alcohol and substance abuse.
He was forced to stop drinking because of illness, which he says made people come to him with their problems.
He said: “I became a partner they could talk to about stopping drinking, dealing with mental health and closing the gap when you stop drinking.”
“People came to me at times when they were very suicidal; one in particular where he was in a state where he was about to kill himself, and immediately I ran.”
Shortly after the incident, a friend of Le Marquand died by suicide.
He described his feelings as “empty” and “vain”, and said he struggled with whether he could have done anything differently.
If he could talk to his friend again, Le Marquand said he would ask if there was anything that could have changed the devastating outcome.
“And I want to tell them that they are loved. They were loved so much, loved so much, and they couldn’t see it or feel it,” he said.
Cotter said asking for help is the hardest — but most important — step for many men struggling with mental health.
He described asking for help as the hardest thing he has ever done and said the most important way to support someone is to just listen to them.
“To sit and really listen to someone, it’s hard.
“But that’s the biggest thing for a lot of people, just to be heard and to feel that you’re invisible … so the fact that somebody cares and sits and listens is a big thing.”
Readers seeking crisis support can contact Lifeline on 13 11 14, Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 and Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800 (for under 25s).
More information and support about mental health is available at and on 1300 22 4636.
supports people of different cultures and languages.
